Marriage……People meet, fall in love, get married, have children and often grow together from young adults into full-fledged grown-ups. Whether the marriage is short or spans several decades, divorce is not something that anyone enters into a marriage anticipating. When a marriage reaches a point where divorce is inevitable, emotions run high and mistakes are commonly made. Divorce is for adults, and it is important to remember that adults make mistakes too and it is okay. Some common mistakes attorneys see and hope parties can avoid are:
Bad Behavior on Social Media and Text
Your Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and other social media posts can be seen by your friends, family and oftentimes by others you are not even aware of. So, before you post pictures of you and your friends out partying, remember that that the pictures could easily be screenshotted and provided as evidence in your case. Any statements made on social media about the other party, your children, or anything relevant to your case can also be used. If you want the court to take you seriously, to view you as a mature parent with good judgment, don’t post it. If you do not want the court to know about it, don’t post it.
I remember an episode from the Flintstones cartoon where Betty and Wilma go on a shopping spree racking up a huge credit card bill. “Charge it!” The two women were yelling. This is definitely behavior to avoid. Sometimes people think that they can create a huge debt just before the divorce is filed and cause the other party to have to pay. What they don’t know is that the court can look at this behavior and the other party can allege waste and spending in contemplation of divorce. It is highly possible that you will be stuck with all of those bills. What is worse is that you are likely going to need the credit cards for divorce-related expenses like legal fees, moving expenses, and rent. Be smart about your finances and utilize your accounts in a mature, adult way.
Mistakes are inevitable. Adults are human and sometimes we do things we later wish we had not. The problem arises when a party makes a mistake more than once. A party who bad-mouths the other party over text will likely be admonished by their attorney. They apologize and the matter is dealt with. A party that fails to follow the advice of the attorney and continues to bad-mouth the other party over text, should not expect the same level of acceptance from their attorney or the court. As an adult, when making a mistake, one should follow three simple rules:
- Own your mistake.
- Learn from your mistake.
- Move past your mistake.
As an attorney, there is no better evidence in court than a party who is constantly repeating the same bad behavior. A person who refuses to learn from their mistake shows instability and immaturity to the Court. Remember, going through a divorce does not give you a free pass for making dumb mistakes. The fact that you are going through a divorce gives you even more reason to be careful and on your best behavior. Be the bigger person and go through your divorce as an adult.